ishynya | hey I'm one of those people who love spontaneity at the same time, but are also afraid of intense chaos If I try to keep notes, diaries, structure something, I quit it quickly enough, first of all, it turns into even more chaos than before structuring. Secondly, I still forget to write down something important. and thirdly, it seems to drain me, Having written something down, I forget it. if I don't write it down, I at least sometimes remember it. But if I didn't write it down and I think I did, it's just erased from my memory and doesn't exist in the notes, It ceases to exist everywhere Everyone wants control, but it doesn't give me more control, maybe I don't know how to use this tools I don't like planning events either, if I plan something in advance for a specific day, I probably won't do it, or will be worried, but if I just keep in mind that I want to do something, I feel easy and take on the task As soon as possible. I like to live intuitively, to some extent chaotically, but it seems that I can control chaos, but I can't control order and structure, no matter how absurd it may sound In person, my speech and my thoughts are also chaotic and very fast, sometimes it is not clear what I am saying and how we came to this topic But chaos also needs balance, if there is too much chaos, then it is difficult to control it, and then everything breaks down | Fansly