The other day I decided to throw out a bunch of stuff. This ..
Published: January 6th 2023, 11:41:11 pm
The other day I decided to throw out a bunch of stuff. This led me to grab the big box on the top of my wardrobe full of old notebooks. I scanned all of it. All of it! Every joke - or "joke" - I've ever scribbled down. As part of my little comedy journey here on OnlyFans, I decided to share some with you.
The first one - the kebab story - I had completely forgotten. I think I used to tell that story on stage in 2014, maybe even 2013. It was - like everything I say on stage - completely true.
I was in a kebab shop waiting to order when a very wasted man started loudly exclaiming to the kebab show employee that he was going to 'blow his mind'. He didn't say exactly the words that I wrote in the joke ('You and me will make kebab history') but it was definitely in that tone. His magical idea was simply for them to combine chicken and lamb in one kebab.
The stone-faced, unimpressed kebab shop employee kept eye contact with the wasted man and just lifted his finger and pointed at the sign behind him with the chicken/lamb mixed kebab on display.
The wasted man gasped loudly and said, so joyfully, 'Mate! We did it!'
It made me laugh, so I shared it on stage.
Now - who's the funny person? Who gets the laughs? If I tell that story on stage, and the audience laughs, I haven't really done any work. My incredibly unfunny uncle could share that story at a party and people would still laugh. Because the funny comes from the wasted guy in the kebab shop. I'm just the person telling other people that he said a funny thing.
The beginning of that note has an addition. A few lines about the concept of 'Kebab Man' as a superhero name. It's not technically a joke, it's more of a premis, without any kind of punchline. 'What if there was a super hero named Kebab Man?' - it needs something extra to make it a joke.
But what it really is, is my attempt to justify telling this story on stage. If I can take the story and make jokes FROM it, I can still share it, get wasted Kebab Guy's laughs, but feel like it's okay because they're ALSO laughing at my hilarious bit about the Kebab Super Hero.
If I remember correctly, I would also do a bit of an act-out when I 'played' the wasted guy on stage. Which might also have gotten some mild chuckles. But I don't remember the Kebab Superhero joke ever coming to fruition. Alas, I stopped doing the whole Kebab story on stage altogether. As I couldn't justify it, as it wasn't my joke.
It was Wasted Kebab Guy's joke.
I know this might seem weird - we're living in a time where taking other people's jokes and sharing them is absolutely fine. (I disagree)
There are entire meme accounts with millions of followers that just post other people's material - and edit out their usernames or don't credit them at all - and people just happily follow them and don't see a problem with it.
And I never quite understood what people get out of it. Yes, they have millions of followers, but does that make them feel good? Why? It's not their jokes? Their ideas?
I felt a bit dirty every time I told the kebab story. And don't get me wrong, it's not that after 2013 I never told a similar story again. I will often go on stage and just tell the story of something funny that happened - but I am always looking for the joke that I can add to it. What makes it MY joke?
If I said to you this: I once saw a pigeon on some train tracks. It was trying to flirt with a girl pigeon but she didn't care.
You wouldn't laugh. But go to YouTube and search for Daniel Kitson + Pigeon and see his 5 minute set from the Melbourne Comedy Gala and see what I mean. It's the exact opposite. No one else could tell that story and get a laugh. It's inherently not funny. Until he tells it.
That's sort of the dream-joke, I think.