prttylilmonst3r

I know I don't post much about my personal life here, because I mostly keep that to Twitter. Though I do want to apologize. I knew that the holidays would be really rough on me because it's only my second time going through them since losing my partner. I underestimated just how badly it would affect me though. I haven't stopped going through my grief, I've just gotten a lot better at hiding it. I was basically barely able to function for about two months, and I've been falling behind with just about everything in my life. Christmas and New Years hit the hardest. It's really hard to lose the person you love most, your closest family and greatest friend, and keep moving when you know you'll never get to have the life with them that you both so desperately wanted. I'm still healing. I'm also still going to be slow with messages because it is really hard for me to be social when I'm not actually personally okay. But I also didn't even clear a third of my financial stability goal. I know that's my fault for shutting down with depression. I'm going to have to find a way to make enough to afford to cover my bills next month. I have a surgery later this month but I'm going to try to make as much content as I can beforehand so that I can start scheduling it out again. I'll let you know my other plans once I know that they're able to happen.

I know I don't post much about my personal life here, becaus..

For a long time I did not share with you the events that happen to me😥. 🌸 The situations are not pleasant. I'm having nightmares with my grandma again that make me wake up in a cold sweat 🤡. I've had these nightmares since the beginning of February .. ✨ Many may ask me a question: if you feel so bad in your family, why don't you leave them? The answer is simple. I don't have the money to do it now. I planned that I could work well in January - March, and start doing different things, and I will have enough for many things .. But it doesn't work. 🤡🤡 Earnings fell 3 times, I have an appointment for eye surgery at the end of March, and I didn’t even raise money for it. And I don't want to touch the money that is for the trip, because there is only enough for housing! And there is no money for study + food + clothes, a ticket, etc. And I also need to do the documents for admission, this is also not a little money. So I just don't know how and what to do. I just want to lay down and start crying over it all. I really want to go to study in September and sleep well, not feel fear from my family. But I just can't do it right now. My plans are falling apart every day and I'm starting to get depressed because of this 😥. 🍀 Communication with my family is not very pleasant. They keep saying bad things to me, my brother calls me a whore, and my parents don't tell him anything. And he recently wished me that I didn’t earn more than $ 400 a month, and all my plans collapsed. 🤡🤡🤡 And now the problem is that it comes true 🤡..Sad, very sad..I'm just ready to give up and start crying. I hope my photos can cheer you up after my post🥺❤️ #ass #legs #teen #young #feet #foot #petite #fyp

hi guys! I want to apologize for not posting anything for so long and for skipping Christmas. these past few months have been tough for mе. I’ve been dealing with burnout and feeling completely drained. always pushing myself to be perfect and setting unrealistic expectations left me with no energy or inspiration. I’ve always tried to make the holiday season special for you with cosplay, decorations, and cozy shoots. but I couldn’t bring all my ideas for Halloween to life and decided to take a break over Christmas to recharge a little. In December, I was trying to recover, but I ended up procrastinating a lot, waking up feeling guilty for not doing anything, and hating myself for it. somewhere along the way, I also lost the sense of purpose in what I do, I couldn’t see why I was creating or who I was doing it for anymore. even the joy I used to feel from working was gone. I’ve realized now that it’s important to give myself the time and space to rest and stop demanding the impossible from myself. I’m slowly getting back on track, doing what I can for now, but I still need a bit more time to fully recover. thank you so much for your patience and support, it means the world to me. I’ll do my best to bring you new content soon 💘