I've had different plans on what I wanted to do with this on..
Published: July 8th 2021, 5:07:59 pm
I've had different plans on what I wanted to do with this onlyfans page, but honestly, I'm finding it hard to stick with any of it. So, I said fuck it to my plans. Nobody follows nor cares about me anyway so I'll just write about shit I'd never talk about. Mostly about my sexuality. I've had a hard time understanding myself, and still do, but for the most part, I've thought I was gay most of my life. But then something strange happened, I started noticing women, but not in the same way I noticed men, which made me confused for a lot of years. It wasn't until 2020 where I found out that my attraction towards people is completely different from everyone else. It honestly horrified me when I learned that when people say they had crushes, what they meant was they wanted to fuck their crushes. After some months of dealing with the fact that I'm even more different than I realized, I found out that I'm on the Asexual spectrum (and yes, it's a spectrum). Unfortunately, that threw another wrench into my life and I just couldn't handle it. I still haven't found the perfect descriptors for me, but as far as I can tell, the closest description of myself that I could find is Asexual Bi-Romantic. But even that doesn't fully capture what I am and I hate not knowing. Some nights I go to sleep wishing I was straight. My life would be so much easier if I was. Other times I feel like a freak, even further removed from the norm. Acceptance is a process, but after learning these new facts about myself I think I can confidently say that I will never be able to find love or get a special someone who makes me feel happy, complete, or whatever else perfect endings there are. I will forever be alone and worthless.